Deal With Your Issues

Through years of self work, therapy, reading, meditating and talking to others, I have come to this very in-depth analysis of humans: everyone has their shit. Every single one of us has our issues to deal with in order to grow and live the best life possible. No two people are raised the same way or experience the same things as we grow; we all live our own lives and adapt as we go and figure it out along the way. Where and how we’re raised, your parents, life experiences, past relationships, previous work experiences; these things all play a pivotal role in how and why you are the way you are. The problem is, most of us don’t think twice about what made us the way we are and don’t consider how that affects who we want to become. Sometimes this issues are right in front of us, and sometimes they’re buried down deep. Sometimes the effects are obvious, and sometimes they’re subtle. We all have our cross to bear, but it’s your job to handle it or your success and happiness will be limited.

While I’m not going bore you with all the details, me personally, I have dealt with anger issues and issues with doing it all myself and not asking for help or even knowing when i should ask for help. Some of it was easy to figure out why, some took time, but it’s a process. It’s easy to see why hanging on to things like that could affect my daily life, and they did until I started working to get a hold on it. How you choose to get a handle on your issues is up to you, not me or anyone else can tell you how to manage your deep seeded feeling and reactions. But what I can tell you for sure if that you improve your circumstances you have to improve yourself; and you can’t do that without digging in, staring at what’s in front of you and begin to deal with it.

The thing is, everyone’s issues vary immensely. People seeing therapists and/or on medications or serious mental health issues and people seeking help with drug an alcohol addictions stand out as this extreme example of someone trying to improve their current issues and work out their past. These people getting help and improving themselves should be commended and applauded for doing something about their stuff that’s holding them back. But most of us have issues that don’t stand out as much and maybe don’t affect our lives in such an obvious way. When that’s the case it’s easy to brush it aside as not a big deal or maybe we don’t even really notice it until we want to. In my 35 years of on this planet I have been fortunate enough to have made many friends, colleagues, teammates and students from all walks of life; from different areas and backgrounds, religions and ethnicities and I can confidently say this again; everyone has their shit. Some more so than others, some similar, some different, but we all have it that’s for damn sure.

If you don’t take ownership of the stuff you have to deal with, really get to know it, assess it and move forward, there is only so far you’re going to go. But if you want to be a better spouse, parents, friend, worker and person in general, you have to keep growing and learning from the past. Enough of the excuses like “this is just the way that I am or can’t change now!” It’s never too late, you can always change. You can’t change anyone else (stop trying) but you certainly can change yourself. Take the next few days and any time you: make excuses for why you can’t do something, explode in anger, reach for a drink, feel like you’re not good enough for (fill in the blank), take a long hard look as to why you’re feeling like that at that moment. That’s the beginning of the change that can propel you into a better life.

“A journey of a thousand miles starts with one single step.” - Lao Tzu