Honestly, We All Need More Honesty

Honesty is the best policy. We’ve all heard it and probably told it to others, but are we following it? Honesty is of course, hugely important in all aspects of our lives. There are many instances in which being honest is easy and times when it can be difficult. For right now I’m going to focus on two areas: being honest with yourself and being honest with those around you who need to hear it.

Let’s first focus on being honest with those around you. If you are lucky enough to be in a position where those around you confide in you, ask for your advice and trust in your judgment, it is imperative to be truthful in every sense of the word. This person trusts you enough to tell you the ins and outs of their most personal relationships, feelings and the intricate details of their days, you need to show them the same respect and tell them the truth if they ask for it.

I understand how tricky of a situation this can put you in. Your friend is telling you about things their relationships, how unhappy they are with work, their health or their kids behavior. We’ve all been there. But telling them the truth about it can be the push they need to see what they need to see or make the necessary changes. OR it could ruin your relationship with them if they’re not ready to hear it. So make sure you ask them if they want to hear the truth, because if you’re not going to give it to them, then who will? I’ve been brutally honest with people I care about in the past with mixed outcomes, but that’s part of the responsibility. Sometimes people need to someone else to bring it up because they can't see their blind spots. They're called blind spots for a reason! But at times, they just don't want to see it. Tell the truth to those who need it and hope it clears their eyes for what they need to see. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. The alternative? Telling your friend it’ll all be ok when you know it isn’t true, doesn’t sound like being a great friend to me.

Now, being honest with yourself requires a whole new set of problems. It’s easier to look at someone else’s issues and see what needs fixing, but what about your own? Being true to yourself requires a lot of introspection and reflection. There are endless amounts of ways to evaluate and to be true to yourself; therapy, journaling or enlisting the help of a trusted friend are just a few. Self truth takes a lot of constant evaluation: Am I working as hard at this exercise plan as I should be to achieve my goals? Did I overreact and lose my cool with my kids during this interaction? Am I consistent enough in this side hustle that I am allowing myself to succeed? Am I communicating enough with my spouse to ensure a healthy relationship? Am I doing my part with my friendships to keep them strong? These are just a handful of questions I ask myself to keep being true to what I want. Consitstnely scanning, analyzing and asking yourself questions like this will keep you honest. Whatever it is you want, better relationships, health, job, etc. you’ve gotta be willing to be truthful about what’s happening, what you’re putting in and what you’ll get out in return.

“Honesty is often very hard. The truth is often painful. But the freedom it can bring is worth the trying.” - Mr. Rogers